#266 : Lazy Parents or Lazy Kids Hurting Youth Sport Participation?
Comment from a parent with 2 sons in pro football makes one wonder.
Welcome to edition #266. This week we dive into a statement that jumped out from the recent Netflix special on American football receivers. This is the latest Netflix attempt to document the lives behind the scenes with top level athletes. While it is interesting to see their lives, getting to know some of the personalities, I would find it much more entertaining if they documented athletes in the minor leagues or college.
While the Netflix specials follow the best of the best, the majority of pro or college athletes are not making millions, travelling in private jets and have personal chefs. Yet, these athletes face the same challenges around injuries, training, preparation and recovery. In fact you could make the case that the discipline and commitment required is higher when you don’t have much money in the bank. The process, like most things in life, is harder without money.
Want to peek behind the curtain at some real world high end athletes? Look at the college athlete fighting for playing time while training 3 x per day, in the gym at 6am, juggling studies and trying to get enough rest to make it through the week.
Or the minor league baseball/hockey/lacrosse/basketball/soccer player travelling by bus for hours at a time, and sharing accommodations with 3-4 other players while barely able to have enough for decent food, yet having the same physical demands of a pro level competition.
There are a lot more of the above college and minor pros just scaping by, than the multi-millionaire athletes. In fact, with more attention to the real world of semi or minor pro athletes, maybe more parents/young athletes might choose a different dream for their kids. With a different dream, maybe more kids and adults can have fun in sport again? Less about pushing to play at the next level and more about enjoying the moment and having fun with the sport and people around it.
Speaking of parents, and back to original point: a comment jumped out at me in the series from parent of millionaire pro football player Amon-Ra St.Brown that I thought we could dissect a bit. When asked about his son’s training growing up (2 sons are in the NFL), and his secret recipe, he stated that:
“There is no lazy kid, just lazy parents”.
Woah!
What about that!
If you dig into this further, and find some information behind the statement, parent John Brown (a former pro bodybuilder) claims that most kids are lazy too. In fact, according to Brown, if parents don’t show the kids the way, they won’t find it. They will take an easier path. Brown is very outspoken about kids not knowing the way unless it is showed to them. He does not subscribe to the theory that the kid must have the drive in order for a parent to support it.
When I dissect this a bit, I am not sure I agree with Mr. Brown. I don’t think most parents are lazy, I think most parents are tired. I also think most prioritize the wrong things. It is very easy in our modern world to get swept up into all kinds of things, That in the big picture probably should not be prioritized. I don’t think most of us realize just how many of our habits and behaviors are mimicked and passed along to our kids. Our tempers, reactions, food choices and lifestyle habits, and relationships are all observed and can be passed along without us realizing.
Making sure our kids get the right instruction, the right training, the right opportunities means that we need to filter out the garbage opportunities from the good ones. That takes time and effort. Unfortunately, until we actually sit down and look at how we are spending time, and which behaviors we are modelling….
We have time for our phones.
We spend a lot of time on TV.
We don’t have time to workout /exercise.
We have time to do all kinds of things, but spending time playing/modelling behaviors for our kids seems to happen less and less.
The key point here is that prioritizing your kids experiences, and vetting out where they spend their time is a key to making sure they find something they will enjoy. It is kind of like accepting an invitation to a friends wedding in Mexico, without figuring out what is required to actually needed to make this happen. The wedding sounds awesome ,but it requires a full week off work and thousands of dollars etc.
Accepting to pay thousands of dollars to play your sport of choice is exactly like that. The money does not necessarily ensure that the experience will be positive and valuable.
While many kids want to play sports, the fun will come from being in a positive environment learning the skills required to be competent.
Does that require a push from the parents or will kids just gravitate to the activity? Mr. Brown feels that the kids will need to be pushed or they will never know what the activity or requirements.
The case could be made that in 2024, kids gravitate to the path of most comfort. In fact most of us do. This is why screen and phone time can be such a problem. Getting up early to practice or play will not happen unless the kids are pushed, says John Brown. With the push, the kids will learn and eventually come around to enjoying the activity.
I don’t think this is laziness, but rather parents prioritizing getting kids exposed to different things. That may require a push. To a limit of course.
What do you think?
More on Mr. Brown’s thoughts here:
https://www.instagram.com/johnbrownblackcoffee/reel/C9bCgcly4TO/