#276: Expectations. Beware of the dangerous killjoy that can undermine having fun.
How to deal with expectations on the playing field.
“Expectation is the root of all heartache”- Shakespeare
As our young athletes learn and progress through sport a mysterious gremlin creeps into their minds. It also permeates coaches and parents. It is a sneaky little pest that often causes great heartache.
Unless we watch out for it, prepare for it, and defend against it, it will be the source of frustration and disappointment.
What dirty rodent am I referring to : Expectation.
An expectation is a belief that someone will or should achieve something. Put another way, a strong belief that something will happen.
In youth sport, expectation can be found in the form of winning, or scoring or standing out from the field in a positive way. These expectations are led by parents, initiated by coaches and can ruin performance. Eagerness of seeing the ball fly off the bat, puck or ball hitting the back of the net is often met with a raised eyebrow when it does not happen.
When does not happen, disappointment and other negative stuff creeps in.
That’s right: expectation. A dirty and dangerous killjoy.
A subject that every player, parent and coach need to be aware of. Just like setting a mouse trap for those little rodents, avoiding the expectation trap is required to maximize enjoyment in sport.
What the pros do:
Have you ever watched a pro athlete prepare for competition?
From a very young age, I have always been fascinated with how the best prepare.
In sport, we get to see firsthand …
· The warmup in hockey: the meticulous, carefully planned movements choreographed during the pregame to check the boxes mentally and physically. Making sure everything is firing the way it should.
Handling the puck in figure eight patterns or moving feet a certain way during skating stride. Perhaps a pivot pattern or sequence.
· The pre game routine of baseball players: hitting in the bubble or mobility work with a band , perhaps some blocking drills by catcher in bullpen before warming up pitcher. If you watch a pitcher at the pro level, you can see a very planned routine that tunes everything up before competition begins.
· The mobility and planned footwork routine of American football players on the field without pads, often with earphones in. Always on their own for their own bodies first, then some skill movements with teammates and coaches after. Again, very meticulous, planned and designed to make sure the mind and body are ready.
All of these are on full display if you go to the games early.
We don’t see what actors or musicians do before they perform but we can see athletes.
Ever wonder why these athletes have such a process or routine? Most of it has to do with comfort leading up to an intense level of completion.
Think about it: all pro athletes are being paid well, make their living in the sport, and have overcome the odds to make it that far. Not all of them are the most talented but just about all of them have developed a process that allows them to play under the microscope and with pressure.
Playing relaxed in a tense situation is one of the most important skills an athlete can develop.
Playing with expectations creeps in whether we want or not. Yet, we don’t teach how to manage those with our athletes.
We prepare our athletes to be successful with the physical skills required to meet and exceed the demands of the game.
Then what?
When the expectation for our athlete is to perform well, and they don’t. We are left at a loss. Sometimes, those expectations creep in while performing.
How to play with expectations:
First of all, let’s define what these expectations are:
Expectation is defined as ‘a strong belief that something will happen or be the case in the future’. Expectations can affect athletes in various ways and can lead performers to react in positive ways (Mothes et al, 2017), although often the reaction is negative (Mesagno & Beckmann, 2017). Expectation and confidence… Often in sport it is assumed.
How High Expectations Hold You Back as an Athlete
· I have to play perfectly.
· I need to make every shot.
· I can’t strikeout.
· I have to make every kick.
· I have to lower my time every single race.
· I need to be better than the guy/girl next to me.
· I have to start every game.
· I can’t make any mistakes.
Playing with fear of failure means you are afraid of making mistakes. Playing with sports performance anxiety means you are worried about what may or may not happen, and typically this will involve worrying about mistakes.
Managing expectations to enhance performance:
Always Think About How
Athletes who play well with high expectations use the expectations as motivation to train and to hyperfocus during games. You can take a similar approach by always asking yourself how?
Think about the expectation you have for yourself of, I need to be perfect. Okay, what do you need to do to put yourself in the best position to be perfect? In other words, how do you play perfectly?
This is where developing routines come into play.
Example:
This is an example that my son has learned over the years from Coach Doug McKeen. A trait that all top hitters in baseball have.
A. step to clear the mind between every pitch
B. a process to focus in on what is required to be successful.
This starts in batting practice, and in on deck circle, right to the batters box and continues between pitches.
Set objectives NOT expectations:
Objectives would be things the athlete can control. The baseball context:
· it is focusing on seeing the ball out of the pitcher’s hand all the way to the bat.
· Making a good pitch selection
· Having timing down
· Get the barrel of the bat to the ball.
While this is simple, it is not easy. However, the objectives are set that eliminate the disappointment when the batter does everything correct but the ball hits an opponents glove resulting in an out.
When a batter puts the sweet spot to the bat (the barrel) on the ball, he/she has won. The rest is part of the chance in playing the game.
Use mistakes to learn:
What often gets forgotten in life is that nothing is learned or developed without mistakes. We were not good the first time we tried to ride a bike or to swim. We were not good when we learned how to drive a car or did anything new.
Mistakes are part of the process. Mistakes can do 1 of 2 things, be a learning experience or source of frustration and disappointment.
In sport, and in life, mistakes should be a source of learning. The frustration may kick in if the same mistakes occur repeatedly, however they should become a source for correction for better performance not frustration.
Refresh and reset:
One of the biggest sources of expectations is strong performance. In baseball, the home run is the king of that source. A home run, as Ken Griffey Jr says (Hall of Fame baseball player), is a “mistake”. It occurs when all goes right and the batter is able to extend through the ball. The fundamentals however are trying to hit a line drive over 2nd base. Occasionally, according to Griffey Jr., a home run may occur by mistake. By mistake!
So will a pop up.
But the home run does more damage, because it changes expectation.
Refresh and reset, forget the past and focus on the routine. Use past positive experiences as a confidence builder but not as an expectation of the norm.
In summary for coaches and parents:
Teach and preach the destructive nature of expectations. It should be part of the mental training from an early age, especially but not limited to when success kicks in.