Edition #223: Truth Tellers Needed in Youth Sport
Honesty is essential with our young athletes yet is often uncomfortable to deliver.
If you follow sport at all I am sure you are observing the Deion Sanders coaching phenomenon and how it is impacting college athletics.
Deion Sanders is a former professional athlete and polarizing figure to many for his honesty and brashness. He is the author of such statements as “do not allow my confidence to offend your insecurity” , and a very high profile football coach at the University of Colorado.
In his first season as coach, Sanders has released over 50 athletes from last year’s team and brought in a fresh crop of new players. The team who was 1-11 last year is off to a 3 wins 1 loss start and getting lots of attention for how he has turned this around.
Side note: if this does not show how much of a business elite college sport is, then nothing will. That is another topic for another day.
Last week 60 Minutes aired an interview with Sanders, and he was asked specifically about the process of changing his team personnel so drastically.
An excerpt from the interview:
Deion Sanders at team meeting (to his team early on): I promise you it is my job to get rid of you.
And make room for superior talent he planned to bring in. More than 50 players eventually transferred out.
Jon Wertheim of 60 Minutes: You got here, and you didn't pull punches. You told some of these guys–
Deion Sanders: Have I ever? You take a team that's won one game, and you fire the whole coachin' staff. So, who did the coaching staff recruit? The kids. So, the kids are just as much to blame as the coaching staff. And I came to the conclusion that a multitude of them couldn't help us get to where we wanted to go.
JW of 60 Minutes: You told most of these guys the more you jump in, the more room you're gonna make. "Those of you we don't run off, we're gonna try to make you quit."
Deion Sanders: Yeah--
JW: You made it very clear.
Deion Sanders: Yeah. Now, if you went for that, if you was-- were able to let words run you off, you ain't for us because we're a old-school staff. We coach hard. We coach tough. We're disciplinarians. So, if you're allowing verbiage to run you off because you don't feel secure with your ability, you ain't for us
Jon Wertheim: If some kid said, "You know what? No. I'm stayin'. You're not gonna run me off with your words."
Deion Sanders: Right. Stay.
Jon Wertheim: So—
Deion Sanders: Prove it.
Jon Wertheim: I'm sure that your straight talk was appreciated by some. But-- is this scorched-earth policy good for-- for college football or for the kids?
Deion Sanders: I think truth is good for kids. We're so busy lyin', we don't even recognize the truth no more in-- in society. We want everybody to feel good. That's not-- that's not the way life is. Now, it is my job to make sure I have what we need to win. That makes a lot of people feel good. Winning does--
Jon Wertheim: W-- I-- I gotta push back on this. You're-- you're--
Deion Sanders: Well, push--
Jon Wertheim: --a father of college athletes--
Deion Sanders: Five, yes.
Jon Wertheim: If they called you and say, "Hey, we got a new coach, and they're tellin' me to get in the transfer portal."
Deion Sanders: I'd say, "Son, you must be h-- y-- you must not be doin' well."
Jon Wertheim: That's what you'd say--
Deion Sanders: "You-- you must not be doin' well because you should be a asset and not a liability." I'm honest with my kids.
His kids include Shedeur, the star quarterback, and Shilo, a starting safety.
Full interview can be heard/seen in below link.
While parents and coaches pure at heart might take exception to the massive focus on winning by Sanders, let’s keep in mind this is big business, revenue generating, profit focused business. Again, another topic for another day.
If we can get past that, we can see a take that is worth a closer look.
“I think truth is good for kids. We’re so busy lying, we don’t even recognize the truth no more in society. We want everybody to feel good. That’s not- that’s not the way life is.”
Let’s unpack that.
In youth sport, the culture has become very cloudy. We see examples, where more truth would be beneficial to young people. But there is a rub. More on that in a minute.
To start, can you name examples of where coaches are not honest with your kids? Are we as parents honest with them?
The concept of a tryout to make the travel team jumps to mind a first example. If a coach determines our son/daughter is not skilled or strong enough to make the team, it is now commonplace for parents to go to another community to play there. Are the coaches being honest during tryouts? Are parents being honest with the kids putting them into a level where they may not have the skills to be competent?
2nd example, the age-old coaches’ credo of focusing on outcome over process. Meaning? Hyping the kids on the team on the importance of winning, without focusing on what is required to win. The practice required, the execution of fundamentals, the ability to deal with the pressure of expectations are not given enough attention. What is required to win is overlooked and that is not being honest with our young people.
The 3rd example is the push for college scholarships or pursuing playing at an elite level coming from the parent as opposed to the athlete. The requirements to excel at a high level are very demanding on young people. Often, young people are not prepared to sacrifice a lot to focus on their sport. Many are, and willing, but by not outlining what is required to play well at the next level (or by not knowing the demands of such a commitment), we are not being honest with our kids.
These are just a few examples where more honesty could assist the development of our young people through sport.
Here is the RUB.
However, simply telling kids things they don’t want to hear is not easy.
We don’t want them to be upset, of course.
The other side of this is that the people being honest need to have the credibility to know what they are talking about.
This is very difficult when so many volunteer coaches are parents. Judgement and honesty can often be clouded when biases come into play.
The rub or catch 22 is that the truth is very difficult to communicate.
Some strategies on how we can be honest with our youth in sport:
1. Acknowledge that in the development of our young people, honesty can positively contribute to the process.
2. Don’t ever lose the fun aspect to participation. Regardless of goals, not having fun shuts everything down. Those who have fun continue to participate. Make the journey as fun as possible while navigating the obstacles.
3. Be knowledgeable: the more we understand about the sport our kid is in, the better we can support them. The skills, the work ethic, the requirements to progress. Knowledge is powerful.
4. Bring in others to assist and get feedback. Multiple coaches evaluating tryouts, input of coaches who have experience guiding winning teams, feedback from coaches who work with elite athletes (if that is the goal).
Parents: be secure enough to get feedback from others who don’t have a stake in the outcome of your son’s/daughters’ performance.
Honesty is good.
Like many things, the simplest of things are not always easy to execute.
The full interview on 60 Minutes with Deion Sanders is here.
The Truth IS uncomfortable! Even the discussion about the truth is controversial! The three athletes who took the candor as a challenge, "swim with the sharks or the fish", that is what coach was looking for! Radical Candor: Be a Kick-Ass Boss Without Losing Your Humanity by Kim Scott a solid supplementary read to this article. Let the candor and truth come from love and caring.
Thank you for another thought provoking article!