TPM #265: What Every Parent Should Know About Youth Sport.

11 things every parent should know before starting the journey.

For those of us who grew up in the world of sports, we want our kids to enjoy playing something athletic.

Truth be told, as a young parent, all I wanted was a healthy kid , then wanted him/ her to show some interest in something.

When Jamie was young, his mom and I figured the best way to find out what he liked was to get him to try different things

Music : he tried violin, keyboard, drums and singing

Arts : he tried acting and enjoyed that for years

Sports : he tried a lot. He joined and learned Soccer, volleyball, basketball softball/baseball, martial arts, tennis, swimming, ball hockey and even fencing ….all before he was 10.

He did not start with ice hockey until he was 12.

Learning how to skate after many his age had started years ago was interesting ….but he figured it out quick enough.

 If we are blessed enough, our kids show some interest in something after trying a few things.

Photo by Rachel on Unsplash

And he did …continuing to play baseball into college and his twenties.

After hundreds of practices and games, individual training sessions and tons of time on the practice field with him, I have come up with 11 things every parent should know before they start the youth sport journey:

1. Kids don’t play outside together on their own very much anymore

so they never get the chance to learn game rules, competitive instincts, handle disappointment, not get picked by their friends for a team , the joy of success and agony of disappointment. Youth sport can become the learning ground for this.

2. Daily Physical Education (gym class) does not exist in schools anymore so physical movement must be developed outside of school :

Meaning: around the home +  fee for use programs . Without physical literacy from an early age, life is much harder.  More and more communities are setting up programs using our tax dollars to subsidize. This is a topic for another day.

3. Youth sport is not set up to teach our kids how to move.

However, some have movement skill development built in (like martial arts, gymnastics, figure skating, tennis/ pickle ball/ badminton, swimming/diving and  anything dance related.) Exposing our kids to a variety of these helps their development and confidence.

4. Youth sport is not set up to build our kids confidence.

This is where, as parents, we need to filter through opportunities to find those worthy of our time and money. They can build confidence through youth sport, but it is not set up to do so. It can also destroy self-esteem and confidence if not careful.

Let’s take a moment to digest these 4 things so far :

Our kids don’t do physical play at home, don’t move at school and youth sport is not set up to teach them movement or help them build confidence.

This is not to say they can’t learn to move better or build confidence through sport, it just means we as parents must shepherd our kids through opportunities that will allow our kids to progress and develop.

5. Our kids don’t need to be on any travel team under 11 years old.

If you push me, we can stretch that to 13. Most kids are not going pro. Even the pros don’t need to be going all over the place under 11 in order to get better, learn the game and enjoy themselves.

The elite AAA tournament teams promising to take you all over the place for thousands of dollars are not essential for their development. In any way. It is part of the business agenda.

Refer to above top 4.

6. Keeping up with the Joneses is the biggest scam this side of a Ponzi scheme.

Little Bobby or Sue will not fall behind if they don’t make the AAA 9 and under elite all stars. In fact, for our kids to develop a love of playing , they must play. Find a sport they like and get them registered where they will play, play, play….not sit, sit, sit. It is about playing time, development time, balance with other activities, not the team jacket.

7. Your kids development and progress in youth sport is not measured by how much it cost to play.

Thousands of dollars to play year round hockey or basketball or any sport is only going to wear them down by the time they hit 12 or 13.

This applies to those elite 14u, 16u and 18u teams as well.

My work allows me to connect with strength and conditioning coaches for elite athletes, and they tell quite the tale of what they see in 22-25 year old pros today. Their bodies are absolutely beaten down from the overuse since 8 years old. Hips like those of 55 year old at 23 due to overuse and lack of balance in activity. Think about that for a second.

8. Not making the travel team at 14 does not mean they can’t keep playing.

So many kids get discouraged when this happens. Making the team is a nice goal, but not the ultimate one. Goals discussed should be fun, building self confidence and developing physically.

That could happen in house league or on the practice field.

9. If you want your kids to move well, get them together with a reputable strength and conditioning program in the community.

These programs will teach them how to move better, get them stronger and watch their confidence grow. The skills they develop here carry over to better performance in any sport and in life. See below for more…

There are activities, as mentioned in point 2, that have this built in : like martial arts.  The important thing is an activity where mental and physical development ARE THE GOAL. This is critical for life long enjoyment of activity and good health.

10. No one prioritizes your kids best interests more than we do as parents.

The blind trust many parents have with dropping off kiddos without doing due diligence is mind boggling.  As parents, in this day and age, we need to shepherd our kids into activities that will allow  them to shine.

That means putting time in, observing how they are treated and reading body language before and after. After a few sessions of whatever, If they are not excited to go to whatever, look for something else to do. As TPM has documented, youth sport is a billion dollar business. The business of getting your money in exchange for your kids time. Think about that for a second.

11. Don’t let anyone tell you that kiddo must play one sport anytime before 15.

To ask a 12 year old to not play anything other than 1 sport is asking for physical and/or mental issues down the road.

Studies are already coming out to this effect. Trust me on this one.

Even at 15, and showing promised to play with the best, a secondary sport helps in many ways with development of sport 1.

Multiple situations and activities foster growth and development.

Not many will tell you any of the above when you are starting out : share this with someone who can benefit .