TPM #280: The Importance of Leading By Example & Setting High Standards In Youth Sport.
Do as I do, not just as I say has never been more important in leadership positions in 2024.
In today’s parenting/coaching world, all eyes are on us.
More than ever before.
One wrong step and phones are out to document the experience or are used to publicly provide opinions to the world.
One difficult situation that does not go according to experience or and many take exception in public setting. Conflict, disappointment, frustration and/or reality are different than expectation and we are subject to criticism.
This is a reality of life in 2024. We live in a time where judgement is quick, and empathy and trust are at all-time lows. There was a time when the teacher/coach’s word was gospel and followed. It is not like that anymore. There are reasons for this, and whether this is good or not is not the point.
While we can’t control what responses we get, we can control the example and standards we set. We can be very conscious of what and how we say and do things. It is critical to realize that the court of public opinion often judges harshly.
I am not convinced that coaches today (and parents, for that matter) realize that every move is watched and evaluated. Perhaps that perspective changes how we do things.
Even more powerful than observations and judgements is the tone we set with our young people. The standards we have, where the bar is set. The example we set.
How do we speak to people?
Do we listen to others?
Do we consider other opinions when different from our own?
Where are our standards on respect, language, tone and health?
If we have the goal to support and mold young people with quality experiences, then must consider the best method to accomplish this.
Do as I do, not just as I say.
Leading by example has never been more powerful.
In fact, doing one thing while saying another has never been more noticed, making leading by example the most powerful tool we have in our arsenal (or the most damaging). Think about it, do we respect someone who says one thing and does another, or exhibits the behavior that is being requested of their kids?
An easy example is how the coach cares for himself/herself. Focusing on improvement in the sport skill, and respectful behavior is sabotaged with conflicting information. We, as coaches push our young athletes to focus on self-improvement and self-control, striving to be better and not accepting mediocrity. Yet, do we exhibit the same behaviors?
As coaches (and parents) can walk the walk and not just talk the talk when it comes to respecting rules of the game, officials, other teams as well as ourselves.
We, as coaches and parents lose a lot of credibility when we don’t follow the principles we are preaching.
We speak of discipline in training, preparation and execution yet we cant control how many drinks we have at functions around the team?
We ask our athletes to be on time and respect their teammates, yet we berate and belittle others when they make mistakes?
We ask our athletes to be prepare themselves physically and mentally for competition yet don’t have clear expectations, game plans and practice plans mapped out and communicated?
Ouff.
No one said this is easy.
How do we lead by example? We all have to find our own way, but:
Consider this:
1. As coaches and parents and leaders, we have just as much if not more influence based on what we do, compared to what we say.
2. It takes just as much energy to be nice, respectful and courteous as it does to be nasty and belittle others. A great example is how coaches use curse words to make their point. While many think it gives them street credibility, it actually can undermine the point of their message.
3. Looking in the mirror is a powerful tool in determining the best route to take in making sure our young athletes learn the life skills that youth sport can provide.
Coaching in youth sport is investing time to help others, yes?
Setting a high standard and leading by example is the best way to ensure that our time invested achieves that goal.