TPM #305 : The Confidence Challenge
6 tips on building confidence in our young athletes, arguably the most important skill to develop.
Welcome to edition 305 of The Physical Movement and Happy Easter to those who celebrate!
I came across some articles this week covering the topic of confidence, as in the building and definition of. It got me thinking about how much in life in our work, relationships, and life experiences in general are affected by how we feel about ourselves, our level of self-esteem and confidence.
Just about every experience we go through is affected by how we feel about ourselves, and by extension this of course applies to our kids.
One of the driving attractions to the youth sport experience should be opportunities to build self-esteem in our kids. Too often this gets derailed by the high competition, win at all costs and overall pressure we put to perform at a young age.
The young age is not so much a factor, as much as it is giving our kids the tools and opportunities to feel good about themselves and the experience regardless of outcome.
Let’s start at the beginning by defining the concept.
To build confidence in children, the focus should be on fostering a sense of competence and self-worth through positive reinforcement, encouragement of new experiences, and a growth mindset.
That definition alone can isolate factors that also do the opposite, destroying self-confidence. Lack of competence, learned helplessness, negative and critical feedback from coaches and parents, and limiting mindset are all found in today’s youth sport experiences.
How do we build confidence in our kids. For some, this may be a foreign concept as we have never been taught. Like all skills, there is a heavy dependence on learned behaviors in building confidence. It is not all learned, as 15-30% of confidence is passed along from generation to generation, or inherited. That leaves the majority up for grabs from what is learned.
When we talk about learned experiences contributing to building self-confidence, we are referring to:
Environmental factors. The environment in which a person grows up, including family dynamics, social interactions, and cultural influences, significantly impacts the development of self-confidence.
Experiences and success. Overcoming challenges and achieving goals can boost self-confidence.
Positive reinforcement: Receiving praise and encouragement can help build confidence.
Negative experiences: Experiences like critical parents and coaches or academic difficulties can lower self-confidence.
I always like specifics, not just theory. Specifically, when we look at HOW to build confident kids, here are 6 tips.
1. Role model the qualities that define confidence. So much can be passed along to younger generations based on what we do, and how we act. What we prioritize and demonstrate.
Are we exemplifying the qualities we want in our kids ? the value of effort, resilience and persistence, goal setting, exploring new experiences. Understanding the value of discovery, and the reality that not all things are rosy all the time.
Celebrate the wins and use the setbacks to understand the ups and downs of li
2. Encourage new experiences and allow them to find their passion. This plays out by exploring multiple activities. From tying different sports to learning how to play and instrument…… anything that peeks their interest.
3. Don’t focus on mistakes. This is part of learning anything new. When we learned how to walk, we fell down. We got back up and figured it out, but it was never a straight line of improvement without setbacks. This applies to any new activity or skill. Trying something new means we will make mistakes. If we focus on mistakes, we are inadvertently extinguishing the very interest we want to spark.
4. The power of goal setting. If something is worth pursuing, then understanding the value of setting a goal and working towards it. Accomplishing said goal can be life changing.
5. Avoid sarcasm and negativity. Sounds simple but when providing feedback, some effort is required to not go down the negative path. Balance criticism with praise. Avoid anything that is not constructive.
6. Show them you care. Making sure our kids know we care and love them regardless of any obstacles or setbacks that come their way.
We have a great opportunity as parents and coaches to use the experiences of youth sport to build self-confidence in our kids. With self-confident kids, the world is a better place!